I MISS MY BIRD

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turkey-imported-from-maine:

firelorcl:

meladoodle:

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police

(via erya)

gorilllas:

@myself what the fuck are you doing

(Source: hayleu, via bows-and-bliss)

darrynek:

my parents and i go way back

(Source: panerasexual, via pizza)

deanfrost:

at my school there’s an english teacher and an american teacher and they always glare at each other and when they pass each other in the hallway the american teacher will say ‘good show governor’ or something and the english teacher will say ‘god bless the land of the free’ and both in terrible accents and like the whole school ships it

(via 10000steps)

yepitsprep:

You’re about as irrelevant as Vanessa was in Gossip Girl

(via nicoosuxx)

beyoncempire:

when u accidentally laugh at a joke about u

image

(Source: beyoncempire, via nicoosuxx)

babygoatsandfriends:

gitchygitchygoomeans:

happyperson023:

gitchygitchygoomeans:

sectumseverus19:

p0king-sm0t:

dolly-kitten:

SCRUB DUB DUB GOAT IN A TUB

How can you not reblog a soapy baby goat

Goats make me laugh because when they make goat noises their tongue goes out.

what do you guys think he is saying?

I think MEEEHHHH

I MEAN IN GOAT LANGUAGE. WHAT DOES MEEEHHHH TRANSLATE TO?

In this situation is means STOP WASHING MY BUTT!!

in court

judge: sir, where were you at 4:20pm last sunday
me: well you see sir i was just blazin some dank ass kush
my lawyer: same
me: same
judge: same
police: same
obama: same

skiens:

shut up and take me to coachella

(via dafahdills)